He Ain't Heavy...

My middle brother is getting married tomorrow.

I can't believe it. Middle brother is 'the quiet one'. I am feeling like a true, overbearing big sister, worrying over him, hoping he is (and will continue to be) happy. I hope his future wife sees all the wonderful things I see in him and know about him. I have known him all his life. I know that although he is quiet, it's true when someone says 'still waters run deep'. I know he can keep your confidence like no one's business. He is loyal to a fault, incredibly kind, trustworthy and dependable. He is a rare gift of authenticity and quiet confidence in this world of so much superficiality, acquisitiveness, noise. So many of us don't know or forget 'who we are'. But I think Ron knows.

When he was a baby he used to be carried around the ice rink by my Dad, and they would chase me around the rink. He couldn't say my name, so he yelled 'Eeees'. He and I swam on the swim team together and played tennis together almost every summer of our childhoods. We loved the ice cream man, so we devised a way -- with Mom's help -- of making extra money to buy his offerings. We sold Kool Aid to the neighborhood builders and made a small fortune. We babysat neighbors' cats and dogs. We put together so much money we bought a television. We attended Catholic school together, eventually both attending Notre Dame together. Although he was a freshman when I was a senior, and we didn't really run in the same social scene, we ate together at the dining hall about once/ month, just to catch up with one another. We worked together as lifeguards, and for a dozen reasons there is no one with whom I would rather work. He's the guy who always shows up, always does a great job, never left me muttering about 'where did you learn to do....". What a great privilege it has been -- and is -- to live alongside him.

He is my eldest son's Godfather, or Keresztapa. Not only is he K-Boy's Keresztapa, but he has been a part of each child's baptism, been a part of almost every holiday he can make it to, and he offers my three endless patience. Those of us who know children firsthand know this is a precious tremendous gift.

And so I will toast him and his bride tonight with all my love and all the hope in my heart, that they always see one another's gifts. Someone said love is ideal, but marriage is real. Take care of one another, and know that you always have me to call on, whether you need to save up for a television; or just need to lean on someone who knows your gifts, and your hopes; or you need a little unsolicited overbearing advice. I've always loved you. I always will.