Rubble

I am here. I am...here....

In previous posts I mentioned a whirlwind of social activities being hosted by us Musing Folks. The birthday parties and wine tastings and pig roasts ( a truly wonderful cochon du lait, for all you Gulf Coasters) were fun and exciting. My favorite time was Baby Girl's Big Pig Roast. I baked her an enormous strawberry shortcake. Well, the cake part, anyway. Yes, of course, I used Bisquick! We had good friends, a bar, a smarmy bartender, the fantastic cochon.

My parents were in town, as well as Husby's mother and 96 year old grandmother. It was a very special weekend.

In the midst of all this social madness, we also have end of year and end of season parties and 'lasts'. Last t-ball game, Spring Sing-Along for preschool boy, Game Day at preschool, May Crowning, Mother's Day, last day of soccer until next Fall, and suddenly another whirlwind of Kindergarten parties, birthday and otherwise. Their 'graduation' is this week. I promise I will likely cry.

And most irksome and troublesome of all was our precious Baby Girl getting a small, weird rash on her back. She has no fever. She does not seem to even notice it. We had the rash cultured for the antibiotic resistant staph, which by the way lives on any surface anywhere, sometimes for months (I can hardly even write that....I literally did not sleep for the three days it took to get back the results). The culture came back negative for any bacteria, including MRSA. And here we are. She'll get a new little spot or two about twice per week. I am at a loss. I would love for a doctor to get to the bottom of its cause. I have been praying for her. I think I am taking her to a pediatric dermatologist next. She has seen her doc and a nurse practitioner. They think it might just go away. And it doesn't appear bacterial. And no one else has anything like it in our house.

This is K-Boy's last week of school...and then summer! I just want to hang out with my children near our house. We'll go to the pool, the library and occasionally the store. That's it. Living in this hot, hot, HOT place, the children and I will escape for almost 6 weeks this year. Of course Husby can't do something like that , but we are very much looking forward to our travels. We'll go to visit family and spending time and visiting fun places throughout the Midwest and South. As a thank-you to my in-laws for letting us live in their cabin in central Wisconsin for a couple weeks, we thought we'd go berry-picking and make them jam for their place. They entertain a lot up there, and they could use it or give it to friends as a memory of the place. I am no Yankee, but I must admit that there is something so perfect about the Midwest in the summer. We go for long walks, tube in the Pine River, read on the porch, grill, sit around the bonfire singing, talking, drinking late, late into the night.

Given my bitterness over the last 'business' trip Husby took, and the fact that another fun customer event is this summer on the beach in Southern Cal, we have decided to suck up the extra hotel room and all join him. I'll be with the kiddies for a good part of it, and I am really looking forward to being on the Pacific. My two boys will love it. I would consider the great and powerful Disneyland with them -- even on my own on a day Husby has meetings with customers -- but the challenge is the 3 year old wants to ride EVERYTHING and the 6 year old is more cautious. Anything can change in a couple months, so we'll play that one by ear as we get closer. As it is, my best friend and her family live in LA so we'll certainly see them, catch up a bit, and hopefully hit their fave Mexican place, Carmen's, for supper one night.

On this Memorial Day, I'll say thank you to both my dad and one of my brothers who served our country faithfully and proudly in the USAF. Thanks, men! We are better because of you.

Nine

Today is Husby's and my ninth anniversary. We have no special plans. We have three small children. I couldn't find the greeting card section at Whole Foods today, so I think I will be making him a card. I went through an old journal the other day, and I pressed some flowers from Tanzania and Kenya when we visited there immediately after we were engaged in 1998. I'll paste those to his card, and write to him how much I love him.

Without trying to sound ridiculous, we are a good couple. Of course, life wedges itself between us. Three kids, discipline, chores, his job, my 24/7 job of motherhood, our families, friends, a mortgage, being tired, being stressed....all these things wear us down. But we -- he and I as people and together -- are really a gift to one another and to others. We worked with this guy who once told us we had the 'KWAN', as in the Cuba Gooding, Jr. character telling Jerry Maguire he is the ambassador of kwan. I have no idea what the official definition of kwan might be, but as for Husby and me, I like to think that it means we love what's real, we cherish the authentic, we love and respect all life. We are comfortable with ourselves and with almost anyone else. We care to put others at ease. We try to make other belong. We try to be better. And we accept ourselves as we are. We bring that out in one another.

Our dream is to one day live again in the small town where we lived when we were first married, in Northern California. To have just enough of a house, clean and bright. To have land, and a big garden. To work outside. To cook together again. To welcome our families away from the stresses of their lives into the life we value and love.

So here's to nine good years, G. Here's to us. Keep the dreams and the memories fresh. Be mindful of the beauty of our days now. I love you.

Meme

Never done one of these things for the public. This ought to be good, what with Husby traveling to Napa Valley for a customer meeting....poor, poor hardworking, self-sacrificing soul.....; his college-ex-girlfriend crashing at my house for two nights; his parents in-town but sorta hedging on just when exactly they'll be hanging with their grandchildren; and my generally piss poor attitude today. Some days are JUST ....here it goes.... .

Where is your cell phone? In the Blue Bag.
Your significant other? On his way to the airport. Bastard.
Your hair? Ponytail.
Your mother? Making supper in Atlanta, worrying over my brothers
Your father? In the basement, drinking his wine, so he doesn't worry over my brothers
Your favorite thing? Silence.
Your dream last night? For the baby to go back to sleep.
Your favorite drink? coffee and/ or water
Your dream/goal? Living in peace on my own land with my own food growing behind my kitchen.
The room you’re in? The kitchen/ at the deskish thing.
Your ex(s)? Still pining for me, surely.
Your fear? Dying some tragic death and not raising my children
Where do you want to be in 6 years? See "the dream/ goal".
Where were you last night? Payson, AZ, eating supper looking over the Mogollon Rim
What you’re not? Weak
Muffins? Not my favorite, and let's be honest....they're cake without the icing.
One of your wish list items? diamond stud earrings; a trip to St. John USVI; a babysitter on-demand
Where you grew up? Atlanta and Mobile, Alabama
The last thing you did? Said good-bye to my husband who, again, is going on a strenuous "business trip" to Napa Valley
What are you wearing? Orange Lilly polo shirt; denim skirt.
Your TV? Only one, in the den, not on.
Your pets? Animals are for eating.
Your computer? Dell laptop. Almost was a Mac.
Your life? A million roles, at the service of many others.
Your mood? Irritated. Obviously, PMSing.
Missing someone? No
Your car? 2002 Volvo XC...rockin' it in Snottsdale, Land o' the rim-encusted Hummer and Escalade
Something you’re not wearing? shoes.
Favorite store? Many, many favorites.
Your summer? Hoping to bag the extended family visits in favor of someplace quiet with just my own family.
Favorite color? Green
When is the last time you laughed? Last night
Last time you cried? Any minute...see "mood'!

Taxing

I hope everyone was able to file their taxes on-time. We took care of that chore a few weeks ago, so there's one less thing to worry about.

My eldest and youngest are having birthdays in less than a month. For Kindergarten Boy, we invited his whole (15 count) class to a low-key pizza and cake party at one the the best pizza places in the Valley (in the U.S., actually). It will be quick, manageable, and best of all far far from my home. My mom will be in-town for it. The baby's First Birthday is the cause of a large celebration at our house. We are not calling it a First Birthday, but we will be celebrating dear friends and family who have aided us and helped us through the joyful and EXHAUSTING First Year. I am hoping to have a catered pig roast. We'll see if I can find a good caterer who will do it. And do it well!

The latest drama in the life of Kindergarten Boy was having a core group of Kindergarten girls asking him to 'show his private parts'. Dear God. He tends to start pulling his pants down sometimes before he makes it around the corner of the boys' room, and believe me those sassy little girls noticed. Well, after I got pulled into the school counselor's office to talk with Kindergarten Boy about his behavior, we never had another problem. Poor kid. He was so embarrassed, but you live and learn. And being a Mom, I tried to make him feel better after school. We went to the store and I let him choose a 'Better' cookie....to help make it Better. But he's still getting the 'requests'. I alerted his teacher. I talked with a couple friends who also have Kindergartners. And wow, did I get a diatribe on the Mean Girls and Queen Bees of the Kindergarten.

What? Wait now. These are 5 and 6 year olds. Are they really already clique-y and socially insecure? Already? I didn't notice or even worry about that idea until I was in maybe 5th grade. The END of 5th grade!!! How sad. Do other moms in other schools witness this new social classism so young? If being a pesky snotty girl who wants to grow up way too quickly is what is required to be the 'Queen Bee' of elementary school, then please Jesus let my children be well-mannered, kind, friendly social outcasts (WHO ACT LIKE CHILDREN). Who cares. Obviously, they will. But it's my job to make sure they grow up well, and strong, with a good sense of themselves. Their peers are so influential. And it's just the beginning. I know.

Preschool Boy and I and another mom and a friend visited the Zoo yesterday. The boys were filthy by the end of the day. They loved it. They loved the boa constrictor and the iguanas. And of course the stingrays.

Baby Girl is fine, sweet as always, starting to wear her new crop of warm weather outfits. My favorite might be her birthday outfit: a swing top with big pink bows at the shoulders, little knee bloomers (with more pink bows), and an appliqued cake with one candle and her name on it. My dear God, it's the visual definition of precious.

We'll also be hosting a wine tasting, which we auctioned off for a charity thing. It's next weekend, and we're excited for the food and the wine! My mom will be arrving just in time to 'crash' the event. She deserves a pile of good times, and I know she'll have a blast and charm all the other guests.

Favorite Things

Out here in the desert, I crave anything green, lush and full of life. A bowl of Granny Smith apples, a watered houseplant, the new, sweet little finds above.

The shoes are adorable. They go perfectly with denim or khaki, and especially a white blouse or a little lightweight white spring sweater.

And the cherries are the border for Baby Girl's First Birthday Celebration. We don't 'do' First Birthday Parties in this house. We DO say Thank You in the most grateful and fun manner possible to our friends and families who have supported us through a child's First Year. We throw a big party in honor of them, to toast their love and care, and to pat ourselves on the backs. We survived the year. All of us, together. Let's celebrate.

I am going to need to put together a menu for about 18-20 adults, plus offspring, for our gathering in a few weeks. I'll also bake a cake, and pull it out as a surprise toward the end so we can sing to the little one. Menu suggestions are welcome. We want to keep it light, fun, yummy, and memorable.

Home Again

We were so thrilled to return home to our sunny abode. Spring is a perfect time of year out here, and our big bright house with its big windows was welcome after a Midatlantic downtown area, with its crowds and grime. The boys and the baby and I spent almost all day outside in our sweet smelling backyard yesterday.

We have (yet another) nest in our front entryway this year. Last year, a little bird built her nest in our Easter wreath. This year in our pot holding a Sago Palm. This is of course sweet and cute now, but when the eggs hatch there is bird poop all over the place. EWWWW. I'll be cleaning the vestibule with hot water and bleach once more.

I survived the wedding and didn't stand up to object. I am worried about them. Full disclosure. They seem happy, but I see too many potential problems. Again, for now, I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and chalk my feelings up to big-sisterly love :). My mother is driving me nuts because she's basically displacing all her frustrations and worry over this union onto everyone else.: Baby Girl's nose was running...what's wrong with her; why didn't I take my wee children out of the room when the loud band started up; her brother bothers her; her mother bothers her; my husband didn't do enough (???); she wants my children near her all to herself, but she quickly got bored with them. She was a mess. My brother came to see her in his tux prior to the ceremony, and she cried like a baby girl. I adore my mother, but she's really struggling with this, more than I am.

Now that everyone thinks (knows?) my own family is completely crazy, I must (as always) run to get Preschool Boy ready for Montessori and out the door. Anyway, whose family isn't completely crazy? I read somewhere that when a baby is born into a family, the birth is not the miracle. The birth happens no matter what. A mom, dad, sibling, a baby, most anyone can do that. That's nature. The pain, frustration, the fight, the work -- all the work -- transformed into great love is the miracle. I think that stands for all things in life, surely for family.

He Ain't Heavy...

My middle brother is getting married tomorrow.

I can't believe it. Middle brother is 'the quiet one'. I am feeling like a true, overbearing big sister, worrying over him, hoping he is (and will continue to be) happy. I hope his future wife sees all the wonderful things I see in him and know about him. I have known him all his life. I know that although he is quiet, it's true when someone says 'still waters run deep'. I know he can keep your confidence like no one's business. He is loyal to a fault, incredibly kind, trustworthy and dependable. He is a rare gift of authenticity and quiet confidence in this world of so much superficiality, acquisitiveness, noise. So many of us don't know or forget 'who we are'. But I think Ron knows.

When he was a baby he used to be carried around the ice rink by my Dad, and they would chase me around the rink. He couldn't say my name, so he yelled 'Eeees'. He and I swam on the swim team together and played tennis together almost every summer of our childhoods. We loved the ice cream man, so we devised a way -- with Mom's help -- of making extra money to buy his offerings. We sold Kool Aid to the neighborhood builders and made a small fortune. We babysat neighbors' cats and dogs. We put together so much money we bought a television. We attended Catholic school together, eventually both attending Notre Dame together. Although he was a freshman when I was a senior, and we didn't really run in the same social scene, we ate together at the dining hall about once/ month, just to catch up with one another. We worked together as lifeguards, and for a dozen reasons there is no one with whom I would rather work. He's the guy who always shows up, always does a great job, never left me muttering about 'where did you learn to do....". What a great privilege it has been -- and is -- to live alongside him.

He is my eldest son's Godfather, or Keresztapa. Not only is he K-Boy's Keresztapa, but he has been a part of each child's baptism, been a part of almost every holiday he can make it to, and he offers my three endless patience. Those of us who know children firsthand know this is a precious tremendous gift.

And so I will toast him and his bride tonight with all my love and all the hope in my heart, that they always see one another's gifts. Someone said love is ideal, but marriage is real. Take care of one another, and know that you always have me to call on, whether you need to save up for a television; or just need to lean on someone who knows your gifts, and your hopes; or you need a little unsolicited overbearing advice. I've always loved you. I always will.